This is the final installment of what I'm calling The Gift Series of posts. You can find the first three here.
I noticed several things about this new season of my life.
1. I was holding on to the truths that God loves me personally and intimately. I chose to believe the truth of the Bible. That in itself was a gift, given how easy it is to believe the naturally ingrained messages of our unloveableness. I think it's because, well, we actually are guilty. We actually do fall short. (Ha! That's an understatement!) But, because of Christ's dying on the cross to take on our sins (mine and yours), our belief in that wipes our slate clean. Though we continue to fail and be guilty, God looks at us through Christ's sinless innocence...and there is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. (Romans 8:1 again.) As Christians, we can choose to live according to the lies that because of our yuck God doesn't look on us favorably - or - we can choose to believe that because of Christ and despite our yuck God does look on us favorably. Beyond favorable to delight, actually. That's hard to accept. I know me. I'm not all that delightful. But that's what the Bible says. That's what we are called to believe. "I choose to believe that I am who You say I am," to quote a song written by my friend Angie W.
2. God has good gifts for me every single day, and my eyes can either be dulled and blind to them or expectant and open to them. Rather obvious, yes, but don't we all need reminding of this? I needed to develop the practice of seeing His gifts to me.
3. The thing that was new and made it effective was that I believed it for me. Not just for the collective us, the theoretical us, but for me. Today. This day. Right now. Because of that one lonely birthday, I shook off the lies, stood up and grabbed hold of this truth. I acknowledged and clung to the fact that God loves to give, "even" to me.
4. Another huge thing was standing up to lay hold of the truth that God knows and loves me intimately and specifically. Individually and separately from the collective family that includes all my brothers and sisters in Christ. Do you ever have a hard time buying a gift for someone? Sometimes it’s hard to think of something that particular person would really like, something that would really make them smile, give them pleasure, and be meaningful to them. God knows us so intricately and specifically, He knows what will be a gift to you, and when. What is a gift to me may not be a gift to you. What makes your heart smile and soar with delight may not do anything for your spouse or friend. God knows you. Not only does God know your heart and soul, He knows your days and hours...He knows WHEN to give specifically WHAT He gives to specifically you.
This asking God for gifts began a very special season in my life. Whether or not I am in a season of daily and intentionally asking Him for gifts, the effect of that time in my life remains: my eyes are more open to seeing His gifts even when I don’t ask for them. When I recognize one of God’s gifts to me, I am drawn into sweet fellowship with Him. I am reminded of His specific love for specifically me. I love Him more. "We love Him because He first loved us" (1 John 4:19, KJV). When I recognize His special gifts of love to me, my love for Him grows.
So...I've shared my season of gifts with you to encourage you to desire to better see His love gifts each day. Perhaps you'll even want to begin asking Him for a special gift as I did, for eyes to see it, and a heart to draw near to Him in intimate thanksgiving.
These posts have been in my drafts for weeks and I've just now gotten them edited down (believe it or not!) and reworked into several posts. Typing that last word "thanksgiving" I suddenly noticed how fitting it is that that they were not ready until right now as we are approaching the Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays. Guess God knew what good timing it would be if this piece languished for awhile in my draft files.
Gifts and thanks-giving. Good stuff.
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Saturday, November 7, 2009
What's Happenin'
Here's what's happening upstairs at my house right now.
Yes, it's loud.
Here's what's happening downstairs in the bedroom right now.
The cats and I are holed up in the bedroom. We wisely insulated even the interior walls of the bedroom, mostly for the temperature factor. But it's also coming in handy during tonight's jam session. Mama Kitty has this habit of stretching out both paws and laying them regally in front of her like this. Such a proper lady she is.
And here's what was happening in the living room earlier today.
It was sort of chilly in the house so I made a little fire. We heat our house with this wood stove. In the bedroom we have a small propane stove with a thermostat so we don't have to deal with the mess and smoke of a wood burning stove. Nice. It was broad daylight in the house for this picture but it came out like this. Sort of interesting.Then Came A Dry Season
If you've read my first two posts (One Lonely Birthday and Gifts) about my season of gifts, you might suspect the next phase on the horizon for me. A dry season. A falling away.
There came a time when I began to get lazy in my morning habit of stepping into the presence of God’s love and asking Him for a special gift. I was struggling with some doctrinal issues that made me question His love and I had not drawn near to Him for many weeks. As I began to emerge out of the problem and lessen the distance between myself and God, I noticed that I hadn’t been asking Him for gifts. It was because I felt I had disappointed Him with my wrestlings and my distance. I wanted to ask but I felt unworthy. After dodging the issue for awhile, I tried to ask Him for a gift one night on my way home from work, but the words simply would not form. So entangled in doubt, disappointment and guilt, I took the mental breath to begin, and then just couldn't. The unformed words died away and I gave up.
The very next morning as I was out with the dogs. I heard an animal noise I hadn't yet learned to recognize. Was it a bird, a squirrel, an elk? As you know by now, one of my big thrills and desires is to see wildlife actually on our property. Though I was in the middle of my morning routine before work, I simply had to investigate. I put the dogs back in the house and began walking toward the sounds. On my way, I saw two coyotes running along our property edge. This wasn't even the sound I'd been hearing but it was so cool seeing them quietly running. Eventually I saw the makers of the noise; two female elk pleasantly walking in the meadow across the gravel road from our place. I saw them gracefully jump the neighbor's fence and into his pasture. Up till then this was the closest glimpse I'd had of elk near our land. I was thrilled. A little while later on my 25 mile drive to work I saw two deer, a buck and a doe. We NEVER see deer. Then I saw two bald eagles sitting in “the eagle trees” closer to town. I call them the eagle trees because in the winter a bald eagle is sometimes sitting in these ghostly dead pine trees. I always checked them, but eagles were not always in them. That day there were two. Wow! Gifts galore.
Technically, I hadn't even actually asked for another gift. But God knew my heart missed our special gift encounters. He knew my heart wanted to ask. He considered my feeble and failed attempt to be a prayer. He answered the prayer of my heart, if not the prayer of my lips. With not just one wildlife sighting but four. And everything in pairs. Though I couldn't even form the words to ask, God answered. Double time and quadrupled. It was as if He went over the top and then doubled it to tenderly shout at me, “YES! Yes, I want to give you gifts every day! Even when you're distant and hesitant to be near Me! I WANT to give to you! I want you to come near!”
Wow. What a gift inside a gift it all was.
Tomorrow I'll wrap up this gift series (oh, what clever puns she writes) with some of the things I gleaned from it. See you then....
There came a time when I began to get lazy in my morning habit of stepping into the presence of God’s love and asking Him for a special gift. I was struggling with some doctrinal issues that made me question His love and I had not drawn near to Him for many weeks. As I began to emerge out of the problem and lessen the distance between myself and God, I noticed that I hadn’t been asking Him for gifts. It was because I felt I had disappointed Him with my wrestlings and my distance. I wanted to ask but I felt unworthy. After dodging the issue for awhile, I tried to ask Him for a gift one night on my way home from work, but the words simply would not form. So entangled in doubt, disappointment and guilt, I took the mental breath to begin, and then just couldn't. The unformed words died away and I gave up.
The very next morning as I was out with the dogs. I heard an animal noise I hadn't yet learned to recognize. Was it a bird, a squirrel, an elk? As you know by now, one of my big thrills and desires is to see wildlife actually on our property. Though I was in the middle of my morning routine before work, I simply had to investigate. I put the dogs back in the house and began walking toward the sounds. On my way, I saw two coyotes running along our property edge. This wasn't even the sound I'd been hearing but it was so cool seeing them quietly running. Eventually I saw the makers of the noise; two female elk pleasantly walking in the meadow across the gravel road from our place. I saw them gracefully jump the neighbor's fence and into his pasture. Up till then this was the closest glimpse I'd had of elk near our land. I was thrilled. A little while later on my 25 mile drive to work I saw two deer, a buck and a doe. We NEVER see deer. Then I saw two bald eagles sitting in “the eagle trees” closer to town. I call them the eagle trees because in the winter a bald eagle is sometimes sitting in these ghostly dead pine trees. I always checked them, but eagles were not always in them. That day there were two. Wow! Gifts galore.
Technically, I hadn't even actually asked for another gift. But God knew my heart missed our special gift encounters. He knew my heart wanted to ask. He considered my feeble and failed attempt to be a prayer. He answered the prayer of my heart, if not the prayer of my lips. With not just one wildlife sighting but four. And everything in pairs. Though I couldn't even form the words to ask, God answered. Double time and quadrupled. It was as if He went over the top and then doubled it to tenderly shout at me, “YES! Yes, I want to give you gifts every day! Even when you're distant and hesitant to be near Me! I WANT to give to you! I want you to come near!”
Wow. What a gift inside a gift it all was.
Tomorrow I'll wrap up this gift series (oh, what clever puns she writes) with some of the things I gleaned from it. See you then....
Friday, November 6, 2009
Gifts
So, I found myself alone one birthday and feeling kind of blue about it. I dared to ask God to give me a birthday gift. The next morning, bright and early, my brother called to wish me a happy birthday. While it’s not an entirely unusual thing for our family members to call someone on their birthday, it's not entirely usual either. The thought that I might get calls on my birthday never crossed my mind. I was not expecting it at all and I was thrilled to hear from my big brother at 7:00 a.m. on my birthday! God answered my prayer and had given me a special gift. He then multiplied it throughout the day and evening as I got more calls from my family members.
Amazingly, rather than chastise myself and shame myself for having become dull to the signs of His love which I really believed He was already giving, rather than putting a guilt burden on myself and demanding that I "Pay more attention, you ungrateful slob!", I instead dared to ask for another gift the next day. And the next, and the next. And thus began a season where my relationship with God took on a new intimacy. I dared to believe He loved me enough to want to give me gifts each day. I began each day asking, Will You give me a gift today? or, What gift do You have for me today? Because of this, my eyes changed. I didn’t look for gifts per se, as in “What can I consider to be a gift about today?” I wasn’t on the hunt for something to attach God’s name to, but I was expectant when I asked. I just went about my day, often forgetting to expect a gift altogether. But when it came, I knew it. I began to keep a little notebook in my purse that I wrote His gifts down in.
Most often, His gifts to me were in the form of nature. (He knows me.) A cloud that looked just like a crashing wave. A bald eagle in a tree near our property - that I would never have seen had I not for some peculiar reason turned completely around and looked behind me as I left our road. One day my gift came in the form of a needy woman on the other end of the church phone that I got to pray with and help. Another gift a couple weeks later was finding out she now had a place to live that was right next door to a Bible believing church she‘d already begun attending.
It was a sweet and special time for me. God was giving me gifts every day and I was basking in the joy of this new season.
Continued tomorrow.....
Thursday, November 5, 2009
One Lonely Birthday
My family used to get together to celebrate birthdays for every member, whether child or adult. In recent years this has kind of fallen off but several years ago my husband and I would travel the four hours by car to join as many of these parties as possible during the year. A few times everyone came up to our place in the mountains for my birthday. But one year, neither was able to occur. On top of it all, my husband had to be out of town. I was going to be alone on my birthday.
The night before this lonely birthday, I unknowingly embarked on a journey that would continue to bless me over and over again in a myriad of ways. I spent most of my 30+ years as a Christian believing that God didn’t think much of me. Oh, He loved me, I used to think – but only because I was thrown in there with the rest of "the world" that "He so loved." I knew He loved me for salvation. He had to, right? But after that, I somehow continued the notion that I was never measuring up to His standard of lovable and acceptable. According to the Bible, my theology was WAY off! Because of Christ's work on the cross and my belief in it, “there is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus.” (Romans 8:1) I began to be healed from this false thinking by filling my mind with the truth that God truly loves specifically me just as I am. As I began to dare to believe in His love, I began, albeit barely, to rest in it and enjoy it. The night before my oh-so-sad birthday, I dared to ask something of God. I said, "God, would You please give me a birthday gift tomorrow? Just some special little thing specifically from You, specifically for me? Would You do that for me?"
It was a request that had been on my mind for some time apart from my birthday. As it seemed to me, God has countless "gifts" He wants to give us each day. I know much better now that He loves each of us so much that He delights in giving special little gifts sent especially to each of us. I imagine that He probably didn’t wait for my asking before He began sending me gifts. I was just too busy racing through my day at high speed to notice them when they came. God does indeed give us countless gifts each day that we mostly take for granted. Another day of sight. Another day of hearing. Another day with loved ones. We have our jobs, our families, our homes. Friends, health, and on and on. Part of me wanted to learn to see what He was already giving and part of me wanted to receive special, out-of-the-ordinary things. Jennifer Kennedy Dean says in her book, A Praying Life, "You desire to ask because God desires to give." Looking back, I think God was tugging at my heart because He was wanting to give to me. He was wanting me to more fully see and believe His love for me. It was my birthday that emboldened me to ask for a "gift."
Check in tomorrow to see what happened...
The night before this lonely birthday, I unknowingly embarked on a journey that would continue to bless me over and over again in a myriad of ways. I spent most of my 30+ years as a Christian believing that God didn’t think much of me. Oh, He loved me, I used to think – but only because I was thrown in there with the rest of "the world" that "He so loved." I knew He loved me for salvation. He had to, right? But after that, I somehow continued the notion that I was never measuring up to His standard of lovable and acceptable. According to the Bible, my theology was WAY off! Because of Christ's work on the cross and my belief in it, “there is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus.” (Romans 8:1) I began to be healed from this false thinking by filling my mind with the truth that God truly loves specifically me just as I am. As I began to dare to believe in His love, I began, albeit barely, to rest in it and enjoy it. The night before my oh-so-sad birthday, I dared to ask something of God. I said, "God, would You please give me a birthday gift tomorrow? Just some special little thing specifically from You, specifically for me? Would You do that for me?"
It was a request that had been on my mind for some time apart from my birthday. As it seemed to me, God has countless "gifts" He wants to give us each day. I know much better now that He loves each of us so much that He delights in giving special little gifts sent especially to each of us. I imagine that He probably didn’t wait for my asking before He began sending me gifts. I was just too busy racing through my day at high speed to notice them when they came. God does indeed give us countless gifts each day that we mostly take for granted. Another day of sight. Another day of hearing. Another day with loved ones. We have our jobs, our families, our homes. Friends, health, and on and on. Part of me wanted to learn to see what He was already giving and part of me wanted to receive special, out-of-the-ordinary things. Jennifer Kennedy Dean says in her book, A Praying Life, "You desire to ask because God desires to give." Looking back, I think God was tugging at my heart because He was wanting to give to me. He was wanting me to more fully see and believe His love for me. It was my birthday that emboldened me to ask for a "gift."
Check in tomorrow to see what happened...
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Behind
*Sigh* Presently I am behind in many, many things.
I'm behind in writing thank you notes for recent gifts received.
I'm behind in letter writing. I have one old fashioned letter I've been wanting to write to a dear woman my mom's age who went to live with her son out of state recently. I haven't seen her in years and I missed her this summer. Now I'm sad she's gone. I must write her a long letter.
I'm behind in writing emails. I have at least 3 emails I owe to friends/family. Big emails. Important how-are-you-doing catch-up and reply email letters.
I'm behind in calling friends I haven't called since I moved back home.
I'm behind in housework, that's for sure!
I'm behind in organizing and recording business receipts.
I'm behind in posting photos to this blog.
I'm behind in posting several draft posts to this blog.
I'm behind in writing posts for the Unceasing blog on prayer.
I'm behind on journalling in the mornings. I'm totally off routine in that department and I miss it tons. Not only is it too cold to sit on the porch in the mornings now, I'm just plain out of sync since getting back in September.
I am a week behind in my Bible study which means I need to be doing two "days" per day this week. Monday I did two days. Tuesday I did none. So far today I've done none. So that means....
I'm behind at being behind.
I'm behind in writing thank you notes for recent gifts received.
I'm behind in letter writing. I have one old fashioned letter I've been wanting to write to a dear woman my mom's age who went to live with her son out of state recently. I haven't seen her in years and I missed her this summer. Now I'm sad she's gone. I must write her a long letter.
I'm behind in writing emails. I have at least 3 emails I owe to friends/family. Big emails. Important how-are-you-doing catch-up and reply email letters.
I'm behind in calling friends I haven't called since I moved back home.
I'm behind in housework, that's for sure!
I'm behind in organizing and recording business receipts.
I'm behind in posting photos to this blog.
I'm behind in posting several draft posts to this blog.
I'm behind in writing posts for the Unceasing blog on prayer.
I'm behind on journalling in the mornings. I'm totally off routine in that department and I miss it tons. Not only is it too cold to sit on the porch in the mornings now, I'm just plain out of sync since getting back in September.
I am a week behind in my Bible study which means I need to be doing two "days" per day this week. Monday I did two days. Tuesday I did none. So far today I've done none. So that means....
I'm behind at being behind.
HAPPENINGS OF NOTE
AN AFTERNOON OF INSPIRATION
I recently spent an afternoon in one of my favorite art districts, downtown Flagstaff. I stopped off there on my way to a women's retreat last month. I visited my favorite galleries and shops, walked the quaint old streets, enjoyed the eclectic-ness of the architecture, merchandise, and people. I soaked up the rich textures and creativity around me. I took several photos, but I am not able to post them now. Poor planning; I'm in the valley and forgot to bring with me my camera from which to extract them.
WOMEN'S RETREAT
I went to a wonderful Women's Retreat about two weeks ago. It was held at Lost Canyon, a Young Life camp in Williams, AZ. I became a Christian through Young Life and it holds a special place in my heart. The camp is beautiful and definitely not rustic. Boy, camp was NOT like this when I was in high school! The speaker was Diane Andrews, a pastor's wife, women's ministries leader, and retreat organizer/speaker. It was VERY good. She spoke about four women of the Bible: The Samaritan Woman, The Hemorrhaging Woman, and Mary and Martha. All the messages were good. They were simple and direct; I took away one important thing from each one. Diane used a lot of visual aids, videos, and music to complement her messages. The most impacting message for me was on the Hemorrhaging Woman...about how she has been known to us - and probably in her community - simply as the Hemorrhaging Woman. In her culture, she was unclean and untouchable, an outcast...for 12 years. Imagine her loneliness. Imagine her sense of self worth. Twelve years. Not only did Jesus heal her physically, He gave her a new "name"; He called her Daughter. What healing that must have brought to her soul. Diane brought a powerful visual aid project to accompany this message. It was a really good weekend. It was great to get away, see friends, share in a small group of open, honest women, and be met by God over the lessons.
DEER FARM
Every time I travel I-40 to Williams, I see the Deer Farm and wish I could stop. When I drove past it on my way to the retreat I decidedly declared to myself, "I'm going to the Deer Farm on Sunday afternoon." And I did. It was a lot of fun. I was disappointed in the aesthetics of the place; it was, well, OK, I'll just say it. It was downright ugly. No grass. Nothing but dirt, rocks, fencing, and enclosures. The center area was open and that's where all the deer were. Despite the ugliness of the place, the deer were awesome. As soon as I entered the gate, they saw me coming with my cup of food and started making their way toward me. Soon I was crowded around by small Fallow Deer. I loved it. I'll write more later when I can post photos.
THE VALLEY
I went directly from the women's retreat to the valley for a few days. I was busy helping my brother with my Mom's estate. He has all the responsibility but no time. Time I have. I'm going down to help get whatever done that I can. While there I ended up going to two of my 12 year old niece's volleyball games. It was fun watching her play well and seeing her team win. I also was pleased to fix my brother's family dinner one night. They are so gracious and giving when I come down and stay with them. They always feed me, let me do laundry, and make me feel welcome and at home. I was glad to give a little back by fixing them my chicken chili which they all seem to like so much. I also got a good start on what help I can be regarding Mom's stuff.
While I was there, I was really busy. when I got home I realized I could have been even busier had I remembered some things I had really wanted to do but thought I wouldn't be able to get to town for. One was a free Ravi Zacharias speaking engagement. Ravi Z. is a Christian apologist, one who intellectually "defends" the Bible and Christianity. He is a wonderful speaker and teacher. I would have loved to hear and see him. The other event was a reception for the release of the book, Bo's Cafe, written by three church friends/pastors, John Lynch, Bill Thrall, and Bruce McNicol of Leadership Catalyst/True Faced. The book was pre-read by Wm. Paul Young, the author of The Shack. As I understand it, he liked it so much he not only endorsed it with these words on the front cover, "Bo's Cafe is a treasure for all of us who harbor a longing to be authentic," he also wanted to publish it at Windblown Media. I would have loved to attend this reception, to encourage the trio of authors as well as get to meet Paul Young. (I'm not sure if he goes by William, Bill, or Paul, but I've heard him referred to recently as Paul, so that's what I'm going with.)
SNOW
We got our first snow around the 27th-28th of October, while I was gone. I missed seeing it come down but seeing it on the sides of the highway on the way back up brought a smile to both my face and heart. Though I hate driving in it, I really do love snow.
A DAY OF MAD CLEANING
I got home Thursday night. The house was still rather cluttered because, no, we still haven't gotten all the boxes unpacked and removed. But we were expecting friends up for the weekend and that's the best motivation for cleaning the house. I got a ton done on Friday, mostly moving boxes from the middle of the living room downstairs to every nook and cranny of our loft upstairs. I even UNPACKED a couple boxes AND put the contents away! Woohoo! It felt so good to have at least a semblance of my house back. I must have gone up and down the stairs about 40 times. I was whupped, but felt good in all ways.
FRIENDS UP FOR THE WEEKEND
Some good friends came up Friday night. I was pleased to have the dining room table cleared out from under all the photography stuff (and more) that had commandeered it for so long. It felt good to put candles on the table and sit down for a meal. We had a really nice weekend with our friends. It was beautiful outside but we never really even went out. We spent all our time engaged in wonderful conversations about dreams, the Bible, churches, ministry and ministry dreams, country dreams, Alaska dreams. We are beginning to dream together about something on our land in Alaska. We enjoyed sitting in the dark watching the fire and continuing our conversations. Saturday night we watched a movie. Sunday they came with us to the church we've been steadily visiting and we went to Mexican food afterwards. Mexican food after church: they just go together. (And yes, we ran into people we know in the restaurant. I do like that about a small town; you can count on running into friends and acquaintances around town on Sundays after church.)
BACK IN THE VALLEY
I'm back down in the valley for a couple days to see what I can get done to help my brother. Poor guy only has one day off a week in which to run his own business and try to be the executor of Mom's estate, which it turns out is a lot of work. I hope to accomplish some organizing, some phone calls, and getting necessary info to various people.
I hope to get back to blogging more regularly. I miss it.
I recently spent an afternoon in one of my favorite art districts, downtown Flagstaff. I stopped off there on my way to a women's retreat last month. I visited my favorite galleries and shops, walked the quaint old streets, enjoyed the eclectic-ness of the architecture, merchandise, and people. I soaked up the rich textures and creativity around me. I took several photos, but I am not able to post them now. Poor planning; I'm in the valley and forgot to bring with me my camera from which to extract them.
WOMEN'S RETREAT
I went to a wonderful Women's Retreat about two weeks ago. It was held at Lost Canyon, a Young Life camp in Williams, AZ. I became a Christian through Young Life and it holds a special place in my heart. The camp is beautiful and definitely not rustic. Boy, camp was NOT like this when I was in high school! The speaker was Diane Andrews, a pastor's wife, women's ministries leader, and retreat organizer/speaker. It was VERY good. She spoke about four women of the Bible: The Samaritan Woman, The Hemorrhaging Woman, and Mary and Martha. All the messages were good. They were simple and direct; I took away one important thing from each one. Diane used a lot of visual aids, videos, and music to complement her messages. The most impacting message for me was on the Hemorrhaging Woman...about how she has been known to us - and probably in her community - simply as the Hemorrhaging Woman. In her culture, she was unclean and untouchable, an outcast...for 12 years. Imagine her loneliness. Imagine her sense of self worth. Twelve years. Not only did Jesus heal her physically, He gave her a new "name"; He called her Daughter. What healing that must have brought to her soul. Diane brought a powerful visual aid project to accompany this message. It was a really good weekend. It was great to get away, see friends, share in a small group of open, honest women, and be met by God over the lessons.
DEER FARM
Every time I travel I-40 to Williams, I see the Deer Farm and wish I could stop. When I drove past it on my way to the retreat I decidedly declared to myself, "I'm going to the Deer Farm on Sunday afternoon." And I did. It was a lot of fun. I was disappointed in the aesthetics of the place; it was, well, OK, I'll just say it. It was downright ugly. No grass. Nothing but dirt, rocks, fencing, and enclosures. The center area was open and that's where all the deer were. Despite the ugliness of the place, the deer were awesome. As soon as I entered the gate, they saw me coming with my cup of food and started making their way toward me. Soon I was crowded around by small Fallow Deer. I loved it. I'll write more later when I can post photos.
THE VALLEY
I went directly from the women's retreat to the valley for a few days. I was busy helping my brother with my Mom's estate. He has all the responsibility but no time. Time I have. I'm going down to help get whatever done that I can. While there I ended up going to two of my 12 year old niece's volleyball games. It was fun watching her play well and seeing her team win. I also was pleased to fix my brother's family dinner one night. They are so gracious and giving when I come down and stay with them. They always feed me, let me do laundry, and make me feel welcome and at home. I was glad to give a little back by fixing them my chicken chili which they all seem to like so much. I also got a good start on what help I can be regarding Mom's stuff.
While I was there, I was really busy. when I got home I realized I could have been even busier had I remembered some things I had really wanted to do but thought I wouldn't be able to get to town for. One was a free Ravi Zacharias speaking engagement. Ravi Z. is a Christian apologist, one who intellectually "defends" the Bible and Christianity. He is a wonderful speaker and teacher. I would have loved to hear and see him. The other event was a reception for the release of the book, Bo's Cafe, written by three church friends/pastors, John Lynch, Bill Thrall, and Bruce McNicol of Leadership Catalyst/True Faced. The book was pre-read by Wm. Paul Young, the author of The Shack. As I understand it, he liked it so much he not only endorsed it with these words on the front cover, "Bo's Cafe is a treasure for all of us who harbor a longing to be authentic," he also wanted to publish it at Windblown Media. I would have loved to attend this reception, to encourage the trio of authors as well as get to meet Paul Young. (I'm not sure if he goes by William, Bill, or Paul, but I've heard him referred to recently as Paul, so that's what I'm going with.)
SNOW
We got our first snow around the 27th-28th of October, while I was gone. I missed seeing it come down but seeing it on the sides of the highway on the way back up brought a smile to both my face and heart. Though I hate driving in it, I really do love snow.
A DAY OF MAD CLEANING
I got home Thursday night. The house was still rather cluttered because, no, we still haven't gotten all the boxes unpacked and removed. But we were expecting friends up for the weekend and that's the best motivation for cleaning the house. I got a ton done on Friday, mostly moving boxes from the middle of the living room downstairs to every nook and cranny of our loft upstairs. I even UNPACKED a couple boxes AND put the contents away! Woohoo! It felt so good to have at least a semblance of my house back. I must have gone up and down the stairs about 40 times. I was whupped, but felt good in all ways.
FRIENDS UP FOR THE WEEKEND
Some good friends came up Friday night. I was pleased to have the dining room table cleared out from under all the photography stuff (and more) that had commandeered it for so long. It felt good to put candles on the table and sit down for a meal. We had a really nice weekend with our friends. It was beautiful outside but we never really even went out. We spent all our time engaged in wonderful conversations about dreams, the Bible, churches, ministry and ministry dreams, country dreams, Alaska dreams. We are beginning to dream together about something on our land in Alaska. We enjoyed sitting in the dark watching the fire and continuing our conversations. Saturday night we watched a movie. Sunday they came with us to the church we've been steadily visiting and we went to Mexican food afterwards. Mexican food after church: they just go together. (And yes, we ran into people we know in the restaurant. I do like that about a small town; you can count on running into friends and acquaintances around town on Sundays after church.)
BACK IN THE VALLEY
I'm back down in the valley for a couple days to see what I can get done to help my brother. Poor guy only has one day off a week in which to run his own business and try to be the executor of Mom's estate, which it turns out is a lot of work. I hope to accomplish some organizing, some phone calls, and getting necessary info to various people.
I hope to get back to blogging more regularly. I miss it.
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
The Time Traveler's Wife - Almost Done
I have 60 pages left to read in The Time Traveler's Wife and I must say that I simply can't recommend it. It's only because of the coarse and graphic sexual language that is sprinkled occasionally throughout. It's unfortunate to me that the author writes so bluntly and graphically, and with a hardened sort of voice at these various points. It disrupts the flow of the story for me with a roughness I don't appreciate. I suppose it SORT OF resembles the roughness of her writing, but for me it taints the characters and taints the sweetness of their love for each other with an indelicate ugliness. That's coming from my frame of reference. I really like the overall story though. Lots. But I just can't whole-heartedly recommend you go out and read it. You have to know that some of the language and snippets of the story, contrary to my first post which I've just updated with a parenthetical retraction/correction, deserve an X rating. It's sad, that the way of things these days is to write a perfectly good story but sprinkle in vulgarities here and there, perhaps thinking it will make it better or more appealing. To the contrary, it often ruins an otherwise wonderful work of art. Sad.
P.S. Like I mentioned in my earlier post, the movie was better, leaving out the vulgarities that pop up in the book. Check the rating before you rent it with the kids.
P.S. Like I mentioned in my earlier post, the movie was better, leaving out the vulgarities that pop up in the book. Check the rating before you rent it with the kids.
Friday, October 16, 2009
And Then....This Morning
We were thrilled with yesterday's elk visit. And then...this morning. Lately we've been leaving the bedroom window open about an inch but last night had it closed because it was pretty chilly in the bedroom. This morning I heard a bull elk bugling pretty loudly. When I remembered the window was closed, I sprang out of bed to open it a crack, wondering could it be possible that a bull had come to the water trough. That eerie bugle sounded again. I went out the bedroom door and into the rest of the house where I saw through the windows....YES! A BULL ELK! Right on our property! Just out the windows! Oh my gosh; it was so cool. So amazing. Such a privilege and a gift!
Alas...no pictures, though. It happened too fast. He and some ladies were on their way back up into the woods, from whence they came last night. I think he tried to drink from the trough but his huge rack of antlers prohibited him. When I first went into the hall, I heard a clatter out the window. Then when I finally saw him through another window, he was walking in the direction of the woods away from the trough.
So now... at 3:50 pm I stand typing on my laptop on the kitchen counter, doing sentry duty looking for them to come back tonight. They have fresh water waiting for them. Our windows are freshly cleaned inside and out. My camera sits five feet away from me with a freshly charged battery in it. And I even strategically placed a bucket full of water that the bull would be able to drink from, free of obstructions for his antlers.
I am certain they will not come today.
Merely because I am so prepared, so expectant, so waiting and watching.
That water in the trough WAS pretty nasty. I don't know how they could drink from it. But I cleaned it all out and transferred the cleaner water from another rain catching trough into the one they, I hope, are learning to drink from regularly. I'm hoping that Mr. Bull has not deemed this pit stop unfit because the water was so rank or because he couldn't drink from it.
We shall see.
Watching and waiting...
Alas...no pictures, though. It happened too fast. He and some ladies were on their way back up into the woods, from whence they came last night. I think he tried to drink from the trough but his huge rack of antlers prohibited him. When I first went into the hall, I heard a clatter out the window. Then when I finally saw him through another window, he was walking in the direction of the woods away from the trough.
So now... at 3:50 pm I stand typing on my laptop on the kitchen counter, doing sentry duty looking for them to come back tonight. They have fresh water waiting for them. Our windows are freshly cleaned inside and out. My camera sits five feet away from me with a freshly charged battery in it. And I even strategically placed a bucket full of water that the bull would be able to drink from, free of obstructions for his antlers.
I am certain they will not come today.
Merely because I am so prepared, so expectant, so waiting and watching.
That water in the trough WAS pretty nasty. I don't know how they could drink from it. But I cleaned it all out and transferred the cleaner water from another rain catching trough into the one they, I hope, are learning to drink from regularly. I'm hoping that Mr. Bull has not deemed this pit stop unfit because the water was so rank or because he couldn't drink from it.
We shall see.
Watching and waiting...
Thursday, October 15, 2009
I've Waited 11 Years
13 if you count the two years we owned the property but hadn't moved up here yet.
This past summer I wrote about how after 11 years since moving to our five acres I FINALLY saw some elk on our land (See July's Elk Tonight). REALLY on our land (not just running across the road), and I REALLY saw them (for a nice long while). Another thing I have longed for, hoped for and waited for, is to see - from inside the house - elk close by outside.
Today as I was dashing to the kitchen sink just before leaving for town, I looked out the garden window above the sink and saw a young elk. RIGHT THERE about 30 feet from the house! I whisper-yelled to my husband "Come here! Quietly, and right now!!" Intuitive man that he is, he asked "Do I need my camera?" "YES!" I quietly hollered.
We could see them out three of our windows and we went to each one and back again as the elk moved about the yard. We both took pictures. Some of mine came out hazy because of the 4pm sunlight and also the window I was shooting through. But I kind of like the "Doris Day" glow it adds to them. It seems to express some of the wonder and drama the event held for us.
Today as I was dashing to the kitchen sink just before leaving for town, I looked out the garden window above the sink and saw a young elk. RIGHT THERE about 30 feet from the house! I whisper-yelled to my husband "Come here! Quietly, and right now!!" Intuitive man that he is, he asked "Do I need my camera?" "YES!" I quietly hollered.
We could see them out three of our windows and we went to each one and back again as the elk moved about the yard. We both took pictures. Some of mine came out hazy because of the 4pm sunlight and also the window I was shooting through. But I kind of like the "Doris Day" glow it adds to them. It seems to express some of the wonder and drama the event held for us.
I love this hazy bright shot of the yearling taken from the back door.
She was standing near an old bathtub we have used as a flower box. Unfortunately, nothing is alive in it right now. We may someday line the outside of it with vertical logs to cover up its bathtubbiness.
This is SO close to the house. It was so exciting.
I also love this one with three elk in it, the sunlight on the young one in front, and the way the window pane makes the photo look vignetted.
They came to drink from our horse trough. We have no horses; just the trough. It was our primary source of grey water for the first few years up here - but that's another story for another time. Today, boy were we glad it had water left in it from the summer rains.
Walking over to the water, taking her turn.
Da baby!
The trough is located right under our dining room window. When one girl came up from her drink, I took these. Note the antique carpenter's level in the foreground. It's what we use as our window brace. (Rebar, hollow piping, antique carpenter's level...it all works.) She's even licking her lips. Mmmmm, that months old water with dirt and floaties in it tastes good!
She couldn't see us, though we were right inside about 2 feet from her. The windows reflect, so for the most part all she saw was the forest reflected in the window. But she must have been able to sense us or perhaps see vague motion through the window beyond the reflection. She raised her head to get a better look.
And then ...
...she looked right at me, curious about this half sight, half sense she had. She began to move away from the trough and the window. As she did, the baby - who had been drinking from the end of the trough almost entirely out of my view - began to follow.
I was able to get this great view of her precious face.
The mama and baby moved off. Soon the other two did as well.
A parting shot.
This was so cool! What an awesome gift to have these gals come so close. We are now determined to keep water in the trough and when in town I ran over to Wal-Mart and bought a salt lick. We want to keep them coming!!!
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Van Camping
For all of you who are curious what it's like for us as we "Van Camp", in a few words, it's:
TIGHT. SMALL. CRAMPED. CROWDED. STUFFED.
JAMMED. CLUTTERED. MESSY.
(The box of Sugar Pops --excuse me, my age is showing..."Corn" Pops-- is empty and makes a rather nice floor mat. (Seriously, it feels better under my boots than the constant "carpet" of gravel and sandy dirt.)
KITCHEN. LIVING ROOM. BEDROOM. TRANSPORTATION.
Plus: We have everything we need.
Minus: But where the heck is it?
-We have rods to hang our clothes, and Rusty's guiding gear....lots of guiding gear.
-We have a TV/DVD Player...hanging from the ceiling. (Requires minding our shins in the night.)
-We have a refrigerator in the back which we can plug in at a camp spot or run off an invertor while driving.
-We have so much extra stuff which doesn't have a permanent accessible home in the van that we are constantly shifting it all around day and night from on and off the bed so we can sleep or drive.
-It's relatively dark in there, even in Alaska. No side windows.
-The dashboard is my husband's bookcase. (I can't see over it all so when he's working and I have the van, first I have to take everything off the dash and stack it on the passenger seat. Then I have to put it all back when I pick him up because there's nowhere else to put it.)
-The door frame is his fly case.
-My armrest is the hat rack.
-The ceiling holds his fishing poles. Thanks to more broom sticks, shower rods, and bungies.
-His "dresser" is a series of duffle bags suspended from the ceiling via various shower rods and broom sticks. My dresser is a carry-on bag on the floor between the bed and the side door.
-His "nightstand" is two narrow plastic storage tubs bungied to the wall. Works great.
-Don't even ask where the bathroom is.
-Each morning we have to take down the shotgun from it's slings attached to the ceiling and place it on the bed where it won't move. Each night before bed, we place it up there, out of our way.
-Our kitchen cupboard is the big gaping hole between the front seats. Try as I may to keep it organized, it always seems to be a big jumbled pile of stuff. (How's that bread lookin' down there on the bottom, honey? Hey, look! There's those apples we bought in Canada 10 days ago. I wondered where they went.)
It can be frustrating (usually getting moreso as time goes on) but it's also kind of nice. We can go anywhere and always have a place to sleep. We can be spontaneous and stay overnight if we want. It's kind of freeing. Of course, it would be nice to have a luxurious, expensive motor home...but alas. Maybe someday...an inexpensive one. (Come to think of it, even the tiniest ones are expensive.)
But for now, we're doin' fine.
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Festival #2
First off, here's a photo of our booth. Every single day of both festivals I forgot to bring my camera. So these are photos from last year's Fall Festival, but you get the idea.
And here's one of The Fisherman standing next to one of his popular bear photos. The one below it is rather popular, too. We call it Autumn Reflections.
Festival #2 was a wild life festival. We waffled back and forth on whether or not to actually show up. The organizer was very nice and said she understood totally if we chose not to come. There was only going to be two other actual vendors there besides us. Verrrry small festival indeed. We hemmed and hawed, asking each other repeatedly, "So what do you think? Should we do it or not?" We finally decided, though it would probably be a lot of work for a little money, we should go ahead and give it a try. In the morning, the winds were picking up, which took the wind out of our sails. We decided to cancel. Then, my always-thinking and ever spontaneous husband came up with a set-up idea that would be virtually wind proof. We were on again at the last minute. We showed up later than intended and were encouraged by the weather and the feel of the place so we went ahead and did a fairly full set-up. It was a fun festival. Very small, but fun. We made a couple hundred bucks, too, so it was a good day.
Since it was a wildlife festival, most of the booths were informational and/or educational. Fish and Game had a booth that included bear hides, bear skulls, a big horn ram skull with HUGE curling horns, as well as several table-top enclosures each containing one of Arizona's native rattlesnakes. Mmm, boy. Actually, they were very interesting. During set up, one of the guys raised his voice a bit and said, "Uh oh! We're missing two snakes." Funny guy, that one.
There was also a live Red Tailed Hawk and a live Bald Eagle. Very cool. they stood on their handlers' arms or on an astro-turf covered perch while the handlers gave info and answered questions about them. (Average wingspan of an adult bald eagle: 6.5 feet.)
The wolf that was here in August was back. He has actually GROWN in the last two months. He looked a lot beefier to me, much more filled out. This time he was enclosed within a fence and the director/handler sat inside with him. I was sure glad I went in August where the wolf was leashed and walking around the whole day. I got a good share of petting him this time, though, during set up and take down times when he was being walked. We are looking forward to visiting the Wild Spirit Wolf Sanctuary in New Mexico sometime in the next few months.
THEN, there was this indoor avian show. They gave a talk - in the acoustic nightmare that was the metal garage in which it was held - and brought out three different birds. One was a black and white crow that did a cute demonstration of flying back and forth from the handler to volunteers (aged 5 to 75). The crow landed on each volunteer's arm and then took from their other hand a pop can in his beak which he flew back to a little recycling bin across the room. Another bird was a huge owl from Africa. When the handler came out from behind the screen with it on his arm, the crowd erupted into the oooooh's and aaaaaah's of surprise and awe. It was very impressive.
But the best, most thrilling part for me was the flight of the Auger's Buzzard. We learned that only Americans mistake "buzzards" for "vultures." Actually a buzzard, in the rest of the world, is a hawk. We're the only ones that think the term means a vulture-like creature. You can see a photo of this hawk at the Avian Ambassadors website. They had handlers set up at diagonal corners of the audience. I had the perfect seat. I was sitting in the last row, two seats in from the center aisle. The hawk flew from my front left to the back right.... right behind me and to my right about 8 feet. Before beginning the flying demonstration, the speaker explained to us that birds conserve energy by flying low in a swooping arc. He said essentially, if you're in it's direct path, you might get scared as you see it flying low toward you, but don't worry. And don't make any sudden movements like raising your arms or freaking out. I love birds but I get an involuntary skin crawl and body shudder when they fly real close to me. I was imagining what it would be like to have this thing fly a foot or even 18" over my head! Well, it's a good thing I didn't have to find out because this hawk swooped down from the man's arm and flew literally inches from people's heads! Inches! It was amazing. The family sitting in the end seats just three seats away from me had this beautiful, BIG, grey and white hawk with a 3 and a 1/2 foot wing span flying right into their faces just a couple inches above their heads as it made it's slight ascent toward the other handler's outstretched forearm. WOW! I wish I could have gotten a picture. But not only did I not have my camera with me, I was also so awestruck that I wouldn't even have been able to shoot. I noticed some friends sitting toward the front on the left hand aisle and the bird flew right over them each time. When it was over I talked to them and the wife said the hawk actually caught a little bit of her hair while flying past!!
I probably would have had Fearful Nature Encounter #3 and had to write some pathetic, humiliating account of it here. (To read about Encounters 1 and 2, see September 7th's post entitled Leaves Are Turning Yellow. The account of our Bear Mountain hike is under the sub-heading of Sept 5th.) As it was, I was so thankful for the beautiful, amazing things I saw so close up. I love the gentle flare and curves of the very outside wing tips.
Back out at our booth, there was one woman who came to the booth while The Fisherman was away. I could tell she was another festival participant by her hurried only-have-a-second manner. She only stayed about 30 seconds but was so full of energy and enthusiasm, exclaiming how awesome the photos were and that she'd be back. I noticed then that she had on a radio station jacket. After lunch she came back to meet The Fisherman. She was doing a live remote and wondered if he would like to do a a brief on-air interview. A couple minutes later, The Fisherman was on the radio. She talked up his photos, gave out his website address, and asked him a couple questions about his work, how close he gets to the bears, etc. I didn't hear it, of course, but the whole thing was pretty exciting. Later, as we were forced to start taking down 30 minutes early due to increasing winds, a dad and sons came by saying they'd heard him on the radio and wanted to come see. Cool!
All in all, we had a lot of fun at this small kid-oriented festival. We're glad we did it but are uncertain about doing it again next year. If we don't participate, we'll probably attend it because it's so fun to see the creatures.
And here's one of The Fisherman standing next to one of his popular bear photos. The one below it is rather popular, too. We call it Autumn Reflections.
Festival #2 was a wild life festival. We waffled back and forth on whether or not to actually show up. The organizer was very nice and said she understood totally if we chose not to come. There was only going to be two other actual vendors there besides us. Verrrry small festival indeed. We hemmed and hawed, asking each other repeatedly, "So what do you think? Should we do it or not?" We finally decided, though it would probably be a lot of work for a little money, we should go ahead and give it a try. In the morning, the winds were picking up, which took the wind out of our sails. We decided to cancel. Then, my always-thinking and ever spontaneous husband came up with a set-up idea that would be virtually wind proof. We were on again at the last minute. We showed up later than intended and were encouraged by the weather and the feel of the place so we went ahead and did a fairly full set-up. It was a fun festival. Very small, but fun. We made a couple hundred bucks, too, so it was a good day.
Since it was a wildlife festival, most of the booths were informational and/or educational. Fish and Game had a booth that included bear hides, bear skulls, a big horn ram skull with HUGE curling horns, as well as several table-top enclosures each containing one of Arizona's native rattlesnakes. Mmm, boy. Actually, they were very interesting. During set up, one of the guys raised his voice a bit and said, "Uh oh! We're missing two snakes." Funny guy, that one.
There was also a live Red Tailed Hawk and a live Bald Eagle. Very cool. they stood on their handlers' arms or on an astro-turf covered perch while the handlers gave info and answered questions about them. (Average wingspan of an adult bald eagle: 6.5 feet.)
The wolf that was here in August was back. He has actually GROWN in the last two months. He looked a lot beefier to me, much more filled out. This time he was enclosed within a fence and the director/handler sat inside with him. I was sure glad I went in August where the wolf was leashed and walking around the whole day. I got a good share of petting him this time, though, during set up and take down times when he was being walked. We are looking forward to visiting the Wild Spirit Wolf Sanctuary in New Mexico sometime in the next few months.
THEN, there was this indoor avian show. They gave a talk - in the acoustic nightmare that was the metal garage in which it was held - and brought out three different birds. One was a black and white crow that did a cute demonstration of flying back and forth from the handler to volunteers (aged 5 to 75). The crow landed on each volunteer's arm and then took from their other hand a pop can in his beak which he flew back to a little recycling bin across the room. Another bird was a huge owl from Africa. When the handler came out from behind the screen with it on his arm, the crowd erupted into the oooooh's and aaaaaah's of surprise and awe. It was very impressive.
But the best, most thrilling part for me was the flight of the Auger's Buzzard. We learned that only Americans mistake "buzzards" for "vultures." Actually a buzzard, in the rest of the world, is a hawk. We're the only ones that think the term means a vulture-like creature. You can see a photo of this hawk at the Avian Ambassadors website. They had handlers set up at diagonal corners of the audience. I had the perfect seat. I was sitting in the last row, two seats in from the center aisle. The hawk flew from my front left to the back right.... right behind me and to my right about 8 feet. Before beginning the flying demonstration, the speaker explained to us that birds conserve energy by flying low in a swooping arc. He said essentially, if you're in it's direct path, you might get scared as you see it flying low toward you, but don't worry. And don't make any sudden movements like raising your arms or freaking out. I love birds but I get an involuntary skin crawl and body shudder when they fly real close to me. I was imagining what it would be like to have this thing fly a foot or even 18" over my head! Well, it's a good thing I didn't have to find out because this hawk swooped down from the man's arm and flew literally inches from people's heads! Inches! It was amazing. The family sitting in the end seats just three seats away from me had this beautiful, BIG, grey and white hawk with a 3 and a 1/2 foot wing span flying right into their faces just a couple inches above their heads as it made it's slight ascent toward the other handler's outstretched forearm. WOW! I wish I could have gotten a picture. But not only did I not have my camera with me, I was also so awestruck that I wouldn't even have been able to shoot. I noticed some friends sitting toward the front on the left hand aisle and the bird flew right over them each time. When it was over I talked to them and the wife said the hawk actually caught a little bit of her hair while flying past!!
I probably would have had Fearful Nature Encounter #3 and had to write some pathetic, humiliating account of it here. (To read about Encounters 1 and 2, see September 7th's post entitled Leaves Are Turning Yellow. The account of our Bear Mountain hike is under the sub-heading of Sept 5th.) As it was, I was so thankful for the beautiful, amazing things I saw so close up. I love the gentle flare and curves of the very outside wing tips.
Back out at our booth, there was one woman who came to the booth while The Fisherman was away. I could tell she was another festival participant by her hurried only-have-a-second manner. She only stayed about 30 seconds but was so full of energy and enthusiasm, exclaiming how awesome the photos were and that she'd be back. I noticed then that she had on a radio station jacket. After lunch she came back to meet The Fisherman. She was doing a live remote and wondered if he would like to do a a brief on-air interview. A couple minutes later, The Fisherman was on the radio. She talked up his photos, gave out his website address, and asked him a couple questions about his work, how close he gets to the bears, etc. I didn't hear it, of course, but the whole thing was pretty exciting. Later, as we were forced to start taking down 30 minutes early due to increasing winds, a dad and sons came by saying they'd heard him on the radio and wanted to come see. Cool!
All in all, we had a lot of fun at this small kid-oriented festival. We're glad we did it but are uncertain about doing it again next year. If we don't participate, we'll probably attend it because it's so fun to see the creatures.
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Blogging on the Porch
The sun is beginning to set and the evening chill is setting in. The 64 degrees of earlier has given way to a seemingly much chillier 60. The sky seemed to turn a switch and suddenly it grew grey and still. The last beams of bright sunlight shine on a distant hill to the east. I can see it's top through the trees. Elk are bugling in the woods around the meadow just a couple hundred yards away from me. Nuthatches are clicking and clacking their ways up and down the pine trees. A silent bunny hops from underneath one juniper to another. A chipmunk scampers onto the porch. When I look at him, he darts off as if his very life depends on it. Grey Breasted Jays land clumsily on the feeders that are too small for them. Gravel clatters from beyond my view under the porch as birds scratch out the bird seed flung out of the feeder by the jays seeking only the sunflower seeds.
As I pause and just take in the stillness of the trees and air, I feel myself receiving the restfulness of it all.
The elk. Two bunnies hopping. Birds scratching. Wind in the tree tops. A moment of complete silence. Then they begin again.
All but the elk seem to be quieting down. It seems they are taking the cues of the greying light and are thinking about heading in for the night.
I will do the same.
As I pause and just take in the stillness of the trees and air, I feel myself receiving the restfulness of it all.
The elk. Two bunnies hopping. Birds scratching. Wind in the tree tops. A moment of complete silence. Then they begin again.
All but the elk seem to be quieting down. It seems they are taking the cues of the greying light and are thinking about heading in for the night.
I will do the same.
Jehovah Rapha
I'm doing a Beth Moore Bible study this year. I've never done one before but have heard she is a gifted teacher. Her studies are combination workbook and video studies.
This study is called "A Woman's Heart - God's Dwelling Place" and studies the Old Testament tabernacle. People have told me this is a fascinating and inspiring study (be it by Beth Moore or not) but, frankly, I wasn't all that interested in studying the tabernacle. I did so in a Bible class in college for my Religion major, and I was simply not into it at all. But, since this particular Beth Moore study has come so highly recommended by friends who did it last year at our old church, I was eager to accept the invitation to join in.
We do homework in the workbook and today I came across some great stuff. Just have to share it. I don't think I'm breaking any copyright laws by quoting a few passages.
In Exodus 15, God has just miraculously brought the Israelites through the Red Sea on dry ground and subsequently drowned all of their enemies, Pharoah's armies who pursued them. The Israelites were being led by God through the wilderness by way of a pillar of cloud by day and a pillar of fire by night. After the Red Sea, He led them three days to a place with water that was not drinkable. The Bible says the waters were bitter, therefore the place was named Marah, which means "bitterness."
God commanded Moses to take a nearby tree and throw it into the waters. When he did, the waters became sweet and Israel's thirst was met.
The passage concludes with verse 26 in which God states that if Israel will follow Him closely He will "put none of these diseases on you which I have put on the Egyptians; for I, the Lord, am your healer."
Beth Moore notes the same oddity I felt when reading that. She notes how curious it is that God chose this time to introduce Himself as Healer, Jehovah Rapha. It seems kind of out of place. Bad water turned good, then suddenly God is talking about diseases and being their healer. Why not after the Israelites had come down with some sickness and He miraculously healed them all? No, He chose to introduce Himself as Healer within a circumstance whose focal point was the turning of bitterness to sweetness.
Beth writes:
"He introduced Himself as Jehovah-Rapha by demonstrating His power over the most common disease from which His children would suffer - bitterness."
She continues:
"Bitterness is a spiritual cancer, a rapidly growing malignancy that can consume your life. After it consumes the soul, it begins to eat away at the body. It is so contagious that we can pass it on to our children, who are often oblivious to the source.
...No amount of distractions or busywork - not even church work - can treat this spiritual disease.
...Bitterness cannot be ignored but must be healed at the very core, and only Christ can heal bitterness. No one can do it for you, and no one can tell you exactly what is required for your healing. Others can direct you to Jesus, but you must show up for your appointments."
It was at this point that my thoughts turned to the question, "Am I bitter, Lord?" Evidence would indicate that yes, there are areas where things have been left unresolved, hidden, and stashed away, areas where bitterness has crept in. Then I asked myself, "What are my favorite distractions? What tends to satisfy me on the surface and keep me from seeing the things that need changing?"
Beth continued:
"In order to heal, you may need to start by forgiving.
Yet you may fear, as I did,
'If I forgive
that will make it all right
and it's not alright.'
Let God whisper into your ear what He whispered to me,
'No, My child; forgiving will
make you all right.' "
Good stuff.
Just when I thought I'd had plenty to work with for the time being, she gently reminded me that:
"Healing is a cooperative effort."
and
"Often, believers let their Healer extract a portion of their spiritual malignancies, then force him to cease because of their lack of cooperation."
and then, the personalization:
"Will you allow Him to finish the good work He began in you?
Are you ready to trust your life to your Healer?
Peace awaits you on the other side of your Marah [bitterness].
Let Him take you there."
Like I said, I just had to share this with you. Good stuff. Worthy of self examination, of much meditation and prayer.
This study is called "A Woman's Heart - God's Dwelling Place" and studies the Old Testament tabernacle. People have told me this is a fascinating and inspiring study (be it by Beth Moore or not) but, frankly, I wasn't all that interested in studying the tabernacle. I did so in a Bible class in college for my Religion major, and I was simply not into it at all. But, since this particular Beth Moore study has come so highly recommended by friends who did it last year at our old church, I was eager to accept the invitation to join in.
We do homework in the workbook and today I came across some great stuff. Just have to share it. I don't think I'm breaking any copyright laws by quoting a few passages.
In Exodus 15, God has just miraculously brought the Israelites through the Red Sea on dry ground and subsequently drowned all of their enemies, Pharoah's armies who pursued them. The Israelites were being led by God through the wilderness by way of a pillar of cloud by day and a pillar of fire by night. After the Red Sea, He led them three days to a place with water that was not drinkable. The Bible says the waters were bitter, therefore the place was named Marah, which means "bitterness."
God commanded Moses to take a nearby tree and throw it into the waters. When he did, the waters became sweet and Israel's thirst was met.
The passage concludes with verse 26 in which God states that if Israel will follow Him closely He will "put none of these diseases on you which I have put on the Egyptians; for I, the Lord, am your healer."
Beth Moore notes the same oddity I felt when reading that. She notes how curious it is that God chose this time to introduce Himself as Healer, Jehovah Rapha. It seems kind of out of place. Bad water turned good, then suddenly God is talking about diseases and being their healer. Why not after the Israelites had come down with some sickness and He miraculously healed them all? No, He chose to introduce Himself as Healer within a circumstance whose focal point was the turning of bitterness to sweetness.
Beth writes:
"He introduced Himself as Jehovah-Rapha by demonstrating His power over the most common disease from which His children would suffer - bitterness."
She continues:
"Bitterness is a spiritual cancer, a rapidly growing malignancy that can consume your life. After it consumes the soul, it begins to eat away at the body. It is so contagious that we can pass it on to our children, who are often oblivious to the source.
...No amount of distractions or busywork - not even church work - can treat this spiritual disease.
...Bitterness cannot be ignored but must be healed at the very core, and only Christ can heal bitterness. No one can do it for you, and no one can tell you exactly what is required for your healing. Others can direct you to Jesus, but you must show up for your appointments."
It was at this point that my thoughts turned to the question, "Am I bitter, Lord?" Evidence would indicate that yes, there are areas where things have been left unresolved, hidden, and stashed away, areas where bitterness has crept in. Then I asked myself, "What are my favorite distractions? What tends to satisfy me on the surface and keep me from seeing the things that need changing?"
Beth continued:
"In order to heal, you may need to start by forgiving.
Yet you may fear, as I did,
'If I forgive
that will make it all right
and it's not alright.'
Let God whisper into your ear what He whispered to me,
'No, My child; forgiving will
make you all right.' "
Good stuff.
Just when I thought I'd had plenty to work with for the time being, she gently reminded me that:
"Healing is a cooperative effort."
and
"Often, believers let their Healer extract a portion of their spiritual malignancies, then force him to cease because of their lack of cooperation."
and then, the personalization:
"Will you allow Him to finish the good work He began in you?
Are you ready to trust your life to your Healer?
Peace awaits you on the other side of your Marah [bitterness].
Let Him take you there."
Like I said, I just had to share this with you. Good stuff. Worthy of self examination, of much meditation and prayer.
Thursday, October 1, 2009
The Time Traveler's Wife
I went and saw the movie, The Time Traveler's Wife, last month. I liked it so I bought the book and am now almost half way through it. It's about Henry, a man who is mysteriously and genetically prone to time travel. He has no control over when he time travels or to when he goes, but he often re-visits places and times familiar to him. Because clothes and possessions do not transport through time he always arrives at his travel destination unclothed. As you can imagine, unlike other such stories, time travel is not all that fun for Henry. He spends much of his time trying to acquire clothes, money, and food as well as fighting off people who find these activities objectionable.
Through his travels he meets Clare. She is a little girl when they meet but over the years of her growing life they become sweet friends. As she gets older, they fall unofficially in love. Eventually they meet in the present where the love story unfolds.
Both the book and movie are very interesting in that you are dealing simultaneously with the past, present, and future. Any one scene or chapter can be about Clare's past but Henry's future, or Henry's future but Clare's present, or perhaps both their presents.
The book is written "by" both Clare and Henry. Each section begins with the date and year as well as both Clare and Henry's ages at the time. This is the clue to whether Henry is time traveling in the section or not. It also lets you know who is speaking by declaring "CLARE:" or "HENRY:" before the narrative. Everything is written in present tense, which at first I found kind of annoying. But then I realized that it could be written no other way. To speak in past tense as most books do would confuse the already confusing sense of time. I now appreciate the literary brilliance, per se, of such an awkward, daring, but necessary writing decision.
The book is somewhat raw in places, a bit raunchy in language and subject when it comes to some sexual references. The movie, as I remember, doesn't seem to include this element of crudity. I seem to remember it as a mostly sweet story, though it is not without it's share of life's pain and tragedy. Not worthy of a G rating, but I wouldn't say R either. The book is more like a PG17, if there were such a thing, but only in some places and not as a whole. [update 10/21/09: I think the raunchy parts might deserve an X rating, but otherwise the rest of the book would be PG13.)
Anyway, since I'm enjoying reading this book and enjoyed the movie, I thought I'd write a little bit about it for you.
Through his travels he meets Clare. She is a little girl when they meet but over the years of her growing life they become sweet friends. As she gets older, they fall unofficially in love. Eventually they meet in the present where the love story unfolds.
Both the book and movie are very interesting in that you are dealing simultaneously with the past, present, and future. Any one scene or chapter can be about Clare's past but Henry's future, or Henry's future but Clare's present, or perhaps both their presents.
The book is written "by" both Clare and Henry. Each section begins with the date and year as well as both Clare and Henry's ages at the time. This is the clue to whether Henry is time traveling in the section or not. It also lets you know who is speaking by declaring "CLARE:" or "HENRY:" before the narrative. Everything is written in present tense, which at first I found kind of annoying. But then I realized that it could be written no other way. To speak in past tense as most books do would confuse the already confusing sense of time. I now appreciate the literary brilliance, per se, of such an awkward, daring, but necessary writing decision.
The book is somewhat raw in places, a bit raunchy in language and subject when it comes to some sexual references. The movie, as I remember, doesn't seem to include this element of crudity. I seem to remember it as a mostly sweet story, though it is not without it's share of life's pain and tragedy. Not worthy of a G rating, but I wouldn't say R either. The book is more like a PG17, if there were such a thing, but only in some places and not as a whole. [update 10/21/09: I think the raunchy parts might deserve an X rating, but otherwise the rest of the book would be PG13.)
Anyway, since I'm enjoying reading this book and enjoyed the movie, I thought I'd write a little bit about it for you.
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